Old Journals... Hard Times
I have been asked to be on the Editorial Advisory Committee for a new Triangle Magazine called "Touched by Cancer". In helping to prepare the premier issue (November), I have been going through some of my journals. Many of these journals turned into CaringBridge entries. I shared some of them only with immediate family in the form of emails and some I kept private. Today, I was specifically looking at the journal entries I made while we were at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston visting Dr. Anderson. That visit was filled with so many mixed feelings. We found out that the extent of her cancer was so much worse than we knew. However, we were being treated by a doctor that had such a refreshing attitude and one who had such confidence regarding his ability to treat Osteosarcoma. We also found hope during that trip.
On the second day in Houston, Dr. Anderson reviewed all of his findings and his recommendations with us. Colleen was in the room the entire time (which made me a bit nervous). At the end of the lengthy discussion, he turned to Colleen and asked her if she had any questions. The only question she asked is "how many tumors do I have?". Dr. Anderson said "10, 1 Big, 1 Medium and lots of little ones". Colleen remained stoic and said nothing.
I can't remember exactly what was going through my head except for the fact that she must have been in shock because prior to that day we only discussed the tumor in her leg with her. Now she was hearing she had 10. What must she be feeling? How scared must she be?
As I have stated before, Colleen shut down emotionally and would not share her feelings of fear with me or her father. This is not uncommon for children with cancer. After returning to NC a couple of weeks later, Colleen had no emotional support available through the hospital where she was treated.
This is wrong. Children deserve to be able to have someone to discuss their feelings of fear. They should not have to be stoic.
This is what drives me every day to do what we do at Striving for More.
This is why we need your donations. So that we can provide funding for the resources and programs to properly support these children.
Every donation is appreciated. Every way you find to support us is monumental. If you do nothing else, just tell a friend about us and our mission. I am convinced that if more people know that children are going without these services, the funding will come eventually.
Because the pain of childhood cancer is more than just physical.