Live Life with No Regrets

We are on a family vacation in Mexico. Today we went on an excursion called The Mayan Snorkeling Adventure where our tour guides took a group of ten people to three locations to go snorkeling. At the second location, there was a cliff jump and a zip line going into the water of a Mayan sinkhole. Mackenna’s friend, Devereaux was all about jumping and zipping and I thought Mackenna would enjoy it. I encouraged her to try but she didn’t seem interested. I was sitting on the side watching and cheering Devereaux on and suddenly Mackenna appeared by my side saying that she is going to go too. Being the supportive Mother that I am, I start cheering her on as well. Mackenna appears at the top of the cliff jump and jumps in with a fearful smile on her face. She then climbs up the ladder with her friend and appears at the mouth of the zip line. She seems more hesitant this time.

Rewind about 30 minutes. I am sitting on the deck with our tour guide discussing the zip line. He asks me if I am going to do it. I explain that I have zero upper body strength and that I didn’t think I could hold on very long. He said “that’s ok, if you let go early, it is very deep there too. You will just have a longer drop but you will be safe.” You see, I was actually considering it but I was afraid.

So Mackenna is now up there and afraid so I try to come up with something to say to encourage her. I say “if you do it and like it, I will do it”.  Crap. What on earth did I just commit to? That really sucks.  There is no getting out of this now. I am secretly hoping she doesn’t like it. And honestly, with Mackenna, there is a good chance of that. She is far from a daredevil. She zips, she jumps, she hits the water, she emerges, no emotion. I am filming the entire time. Trying to gauge if she liked it (for my own selfish reasons of course). Will I have to go? She gets out of the water and forces me to turn off the camera and she says. “I hurt.” Woohoo! She didn’t like it. I don’t have to go! She says “You have to do it now.” Wait a minute. Something went terribly wrong. This is not how this was supposed to work.

After several minutes of trying to use reason and negotiation, I walk toward the platform knowing that I will never hear the end of this if I don’t go off the darn zip line. Our tour guide explains how it works. I am terrified but eventually overcome my fear. I zip (but not for long, I can’t hold on), I fall, I splat onto the water, sort of like a belly flop but with the back of my upper thighs hitting the water so hard that there was a red mark on them the rest of the day. Oh well, I was certainly not graceful but I did it.

As we walked toward the shelter where our lunch was being served. Mackenna apologized for making me go on the zip line. I told her that I was fine and that I did not regret it. After all, it is better that I learned what I did incorrectly over water than over trees where my fall would not have been broken so easily. I went on to remind her that I am a person that regrets very little in life. That each experience, good and bad, has a lesson to take away. She said “I wish I could be like that”.

After our day was over and we sat in the van for the hour-long ride back to our hotel, I pondered how I became a person who lives in each moment with little or no regret. Did I only become this way after losing Colleen? I certainly would not want Mackenna to have to experience profound loss in order to have this wonderful way of experiencing life. Regret is defined as “to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)” and its antonym is rejoice or joy. I know that Vince and I have taught Mackenna to take responsibility for her actions. With that said, I would much rather her know joy than regret. The next important less is to teach Mackenna to appreciate each experience for what it can teach you. I fell like I have been living by example for a long time now. How else can this be taught? 

If you have any insight, I would love to hear it!