Children Are Always Watching...

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~ Robert Fulghum

Family after family wander through the door. But they are all going through the door, why can’t we go through the door? I try to come up with an explanation that does not badmouth the other families but give my daughter a reason that is one that I am happy with. The sign says “No Entrance”. “We are a rule following family so we will walk around, it is just around the corner.”

What Would You Do? I can’t keep quite any longer. I believe this is is a common theme with parenting these days. I think too many parents go by the motto of “do as I say and not as I do”. I have a problem with this. I believe it is much better to lead by example. I never once walked through that door. The REAL door was only a few more steps farther.

Another example of this is the fact that facebook says that children should be 13 years old before allowed to have a profile. I know many friends that allowed their children to have profile before they were 13 years old. If you expect your child to be honest to you but then you allow them to tell a lie to someone else, like facebook, I am not sure what lesson that teaches them. Is it ok to tell a lie to someone else but not ok to tell a lie to you? I am not sure I agree with that. You are either raising your children to be honest or you’re a not.

Responsibility.  Mackenna has braces. She is very paranoid about the rules she has about what she can eat with her braces. We were standing outside of Quiznos and Brueggers Bagels. She said to me “Will you tell Dad if I eat Bruegger’s for lunch?”. (because you are not supposed to eat bagels when you have braces). I said “Mackenna, you are a young adult, it is your decision if you would like to eat a bagel or not. It is not up to your father or I. You need to make your own decision. You just need to realize the consequences.” Ultimately, she chose, Quiznos as she knew that was the right decision. I was very proud of her and she was proud of herself for making the right decision.

I vividly remember sitting in the front seat of my sister’s car when her children were very young. At the time., she was the mother of three (however, she is now the mother of five). Nonetheless, I have an enormous amount of respect for her parenting skills.  One child hit the other. She turned to the one child and said “do we hit in our house?” and the child said “no”. I knew right then and there that I would never hit in my home. I know it is not a decision that is right for every home but it is a decision that worked in my home. It worked because I was able to use that same line that my sister used. I was able to use that same question and it stopped my children dead in their tracks.

Be the Example.  Leading by example is very important to me. Not walking through the door that says “no entrance” is an important example. If you walk through that door, how do you expect your child to respect rules that are in place? I agree that sometimes rules are silly but there are times that we don’t always understand the origin of the rules and it is best to respect them and teach our children to respect them as well.

~ Until next time, Diane